Sometimes in life you don't realize something until you put two and two together pretty much a year later. You don't hang out with a group of people, but at the same time, you don't understand why, until reinforcements hit you. Well, that has happend to me. Yesterday, to be exact. I told myself I would never date a man from here. I gave simple reasons such as "the men are not cultured", or my favorite "too many of them are missing too many teeth". Yesterday was a reinforcement of why I would not date any man who has any affinity to this city or the school here. A guy approached me while I was on my way to the store. The friend lived here, but he didn't. I thought he wanted to get to know me. I was wrong, because any guy that is tatted up as him does not deserve a shot with me. I find too many tattoos to be dirty and disgusting. The same can be said about having too many piercings. He was a hot Latino guy. He looked good. I'm usually into dark hair and pale skin, but a brown guy is still hot. So this guy followed me and I told him my age he told me his. He said he was twenty. It gave me a pause. I told him I dated a guy that was 21 and he seemed mature for his age, but he showed his age. I remembered an advice column I read about women who are twenty five hooking up with guys who are 18, 19 at most 20. The columnist felt the woman was stradling an ethical line with these young men. I don't want to be labeled a cougar or a puma. I like my men to be in their mid to late 20's.
His age didn't bother me as much as what he wanted. He had the gall to ask him I wanted to do drugs with him and his friend and hook up for sex. I told him "I'm not that kind of girl". Meaning "I don't do drugs or hook up with random strangers". It was then when I realized that I should not pity the men here.I don't anymore. They don't know how to approach a women and they get mad when no woman wants to date them. The men in this country are all like that. They are afraid that they have to work harder to obtain a woman. Women work really hard all the time to impress a potential date. It would not hurt if a man stops being a douchbag for one night to impress the woman of his choice. I know of men who are nice to only women they are dating. They are very mean toward other women. I remember my ex told me about a co worker his mother worked with a while ago. He was Russian and he saw a gender war in this country between men and women. He said this man said that American women do not know how to appreciate a man. My rebuttal to that is: why should any woman appreciate a man who belittles her, insults her intelligence, calls her names and cuts her off while she's speaking? How can I or any other woman in this country appreciate a man who does not know how to treat women?
When I lived on campus in the halls, I noticed this. Men want women who had way less sex partners than them, and yet they seem to sleep with every woman that moves. They were socially akward, unfit they had eachother to hang out with and called people who were not a part of them socially akward. No woman wanted to date them. They would never say why, but thinking about it now, I understand. Partially, I can blame other women for choosing these types of men. I don't think that I would have a problem dating in a more diverse city such as New York or the heart of LA. I believe that we as a society needs to cope with the new type of woman. Most women now do not want to get married at 20 and start a family before 25. The ones I know want to to party, and then you have my sister who has a man and a child and she still likes to hang out. Some women want their cakes and eat them too. Some women want to enjoy as many men as possible and not get married. I'm one of those. I rather be married to my passions in art than to spend the rest of my life with a man who holds double-standard views. I inspire to enjoy as many men as possible and reap the carnage when I'm fifty.
I don't want to alienate any men who read my blogs. Maybe they can address these concerns. I don't think that all men are bad. I think that the ones who expect too much from women and have lower standards for themselves are the ones to watch out for. If I could do last year over again, interms of living on campus and interacting with others, I'd lie and say I'm engaged even when I'm really singled.
Monday, September 20, 2010
Monday, September 13, 2010
The Big Day
The newest and final installment of XBOX's Halo series will be on shelves tomorrow. I will be too busy to play this game, but hopefully over the winter I'll catch up with my gaming. I feel like I'm slightly growing out of videogaming in favor of something else, but I'll save that for another post.
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
When Life Bites Back (Artist Style)
I come from a family with a long line of artists, especially on my mom's side. I really LOVE art. I love to create, to be inspired to let my imagination go to places that I know do not exist in reality. With art, I love to make my own mark in the world. However, the gift of art also has a curse that goes along with it. It's called the "Artist Mentality". I'm sure that when you go out into the world, you meet two types of people. Type A personality and Type B. Type A is usually the personality that is more left-brained. I believe these people to be neurotic and perfectionists. These people know what they want in life. If they can finish college when they barely graduated from kindergarten to the first grade, they would. Type B personalities are different. They are stereotyped as being slackers, lazy, drifting as though they are in a small life boat in a huge sea called life. I used to be the first one in middle and highschool, but when I became an adult, it seemed as though my personality had a paradigm shift. My sense of curiosity and discovery consumes every fiber of my being. The fact that I don't make decisions and stick to them makes me what they call an "artist".
Art is one of those degrees in school that do not really have a clear path. One can have an art degree and decide to be a filmmaker, architect, or even a fine artist. These days, a college degree is like that extra money that you found in your pocket after you didn't have enough change a few days ago to tip the waitor at a restaurant. It's there, and it can take you anywhere, and you can only do so much with it. You can spend that little change on whatever. It's really hard to tell someone with an artist mentality what he/she can or can't do with his or extra change.
Some are reading this as will ask what I'm getting to. Today, I realized that I DO NOT like digital media as an artform. I detest it. Andy Warhol pushed the buttons when he calls blown up versions of life objects art. Duchamp and Oldenburg were out of their minds when they call simple objects art. The art world was once this place where the elite of society can basque into someone's imagination and pay millions to have a piece of someone. From my experience in school, it seems like the art here is more about decoration and calling anything art. So, I retire digital media completely. I'll use photoshop to scale images for my life-size paintings of media images. I would go as far as to say that I do not criticize Warhol or Duchamp. I inspire to be somewhat like Warhol, because his art does to this day hold a mirror to the face of what was pop culture in the sixties and what is now history of a turbulent era. If I kept this class, I would have been closer to finishing my art degree, but because I rather feel like I really created something that can be real, rather than abstraction, I'll continue my path in drawing(possibly painting/sculpting) and philosophy. I'll be so happy when I finish my degree. I should talk to someone about getting a liberal studies degree, instead. I hope that I grow out of this artist mentality, because everyday I'm closer to being 30.
Art is one of those degrees in school that do not really have a clear path. One can have an art degree and decide to be a filmmaker, architect, or even a fine artist. These days, a college degree is like that extra money that you found in your pocket after you didn't have enough change a few days ago to tip the waitor at a restaurant. It's there, and it can take you anywhere, and you can only do so much with it. You can spend that little change on whatever. It's really hard to tell someone with an artist mentality what he/she can or can't do with his or extra change.
Some are reading this as will ask what I'm getting to. Today, I realized that I DO NOT like digital media as an artform. I detest it. Andy Warhol pushed the buttons when he calls blown up versions of life objects art. Duchamp and Oldenburg were out of their minds when they call simple objects art. The art world was once this place where the elite of society can basque into someone's imagination and pay millions to have a piece of someone. From my experience in school, it seems like the art here is more about decoration and calling anything art. So, I retire digital media completely. I'll use photoshop to scale images for my life-size paintings of media images. I would go as far as to say that I do not criticize Warhol or Duchamp. I inspire to be somewhat like Warhol, because his art does to this day hold a mirror to the face of what was pop culture in the sixties and what is now history of a turbulent era. If I kept this class, I would have been closer to finishing my art degree, but because I rather feel like I really created something that can be real, rather than abstraction, I'll continue my path in drawing(possibly painting/sculpting) and philosophy. I'll be so happy when I finish my degree. I should talk to someone about getting a liberal studies degree, instead. I hope that I grow out of this artist mentality, because everyday I'm closer to being 30.
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
The Mystique of Girl Gamers (Mild Rant)
In my other post, I said I wasn't going to create anymore videogame posts, because of school and other things. However, before even creating a blog dedicated to gamers, especially girl gamers, a guy friend (gamer) suggested that I write about nudity in videogames.
I would be kidding myself if I did not say that the videogame industry, like other industries, is a male dominated industry. However, anyone who claims that girl gamers do not exist and if they do they are posters or unattractive women who happen to be socially akward, paints himself/herself as ignorant. I personally LOVE videogames. I love everything about them. I love the rendering, the rich colors, the deep dialogues, the sexiness of the male characters (Ezio, Ryu Hayabusa) and the feel of the vibration of that green, Halo 3 Edition controller that sits on my bare legs as a breeze through various levels. Playing videogames does not make me less of a woman. It also does not make me more of a woman. I am still intouch with my feminine and intellectual sides. This blog proves such. Most girl gamers in the media are painted as sex symbols, not as women who can seriously contribute to the industry. I think that because girls get to be labeled so easily and placed in one box so often is the reason why women, especially in America do not and cannot express their true selves. We allow society to dictate how a woman should be. We expect women to be these vestal goddesses that express emotion in a child-like manner and yet, we expect women to have composure, be vixens behind closed to doors and we expect women to be faithful and sexually repressed. Which in my opinion, any woman who behaves in this manner is worse than a prostitute or a woman who enjoys men in a physical manner, because this stereotype says that women cannot be free.
The representation of women in videogames shows some of these stereotypes of women, such as youthful faces and exaggerated womanly proportions. This can be seen in Tomb Raider, Ninja Gaiden and Soul Calibur, to name a few games. I like that in BioShock 2, the Big Sisters are drawn in proportion of real sixteen year old girls, not like in Ninja Gaiden II when Ayane makes a cameo appearance before Ryu faces the afterlife. I swear, in that scene, she has the body of Pamela Anderson and the face of Ellen Page. She looked nothing like a 16 year old girl from neck down. It says much about the culture and expectations for women in the 21 century industrialized societies.
The girl gamers that are portrayed on television are not as bad. Morgan Webb on G4TV changed her many looks. She went from having short kool-aid red hair when X-Play was aired on TechTV to having longer hair, dressed in sexier clothing when the show was moved to G4TV. I don't think that there are enough nerdy girls in the world, especially in this country. There aren't many American shows that showcase the full intelligence of a woman. If I could write a show that does, I would. The closest I've come is a science fiction novella that potrays one of the main characters as both feminine and smart.
I'm not saying that I'm not a feminine person. I consider myself to be. As I get older and continue to live on my own, I've been more in touch with my intellectual and feminine sides. I still plan on being a gamer that showcases her quirkiness, but still plan on being a good woman, even if I do need to work on self-composure sometimes. However, even if a woman who loves to play videogames is not "feminine" or she's unatractive or anti-social, so what? I don't see any guy making the effort to actually get to know the girl for who she is and her interests. Maybe there is a guy out there who likes her for who she is. It's so sad that we tend to place standards on women and what makes them attractive. We can't blame videogames, or the media for what men look for in women. We should blame their parents for not raising men to accept all types of beauty and looking to the media and society to dictate their standards.
I would be kidding myself if I did not say that the videogame industry, like other industries, is a male dominated industry. However, anyone who claims that girl gamers do not exist and if they do they are posters or unattractive women who happen to be socially akward, paints himself/herself as ignorant. I personally LOVE videogames. I love everything about them. I love the rendering, the rich colors, the deep dialogues, the sexiness of the male characters (Ezio, Ryu Hayabusa) and the feel of the vibration of that green, Halo 3 Edition controller that sits on my bare legs as a breeze through various levels. Playing videogames does not make me less of a woman. It also does not make me more of a woman. I am still intouch with my feminine and intellectual sides. This blog proves such. Most girl gamers in the media are painted as sex symbols, not as women who can seriously contribute to the industry. I think that because girls get to be labeled so easily and placed in one box so often is the reason why women, especially in America do not and cannot express their true selves. We allow society to dictate how a woman should be. We expect women to be these vestal goddesses that express emotion in a child-like manner and yet, we expect women to have composure, be vixens behind closed to doors and we expect women to be faithful and sexually repressed. Which in my opinion, any woman who behaves in this manner is worse than a prostitute or a woman who enjoys men in a physical manner, because this stereotype says that women cannot be free.
The representation of women in videogames shows some of these stereotypes of women, such as youthful faces and exaggerated womanly proportions. This can be seen in Tomb Raider, Ninja Gaiden and Soul Calibur, to name a few games. I like that in BioShock 2, the Big Sisters are drawn in proportion of real sixteen year old girls, not like in Ninja Gaiden II when Ayane makes a cameo appearance before Ryu faces the afterlife. I swear, in that scene, she has the body of Pamela Anderson and the face of Ellen Page. She looked nothing like a 16 year old girl from neck down. It says much about the culture and expectations for women in the 21 century industrialized societies.
The girl gamers that are portrayed on television are not as bad. Morgan Webb on G4TV changed her many looks. She went from having short kool-aid red hair when X-Play was aired on TechTV to having longer hair, dressed in sexier clothing when the show was moved to G4TV. I don't think that there are enough nerdy girls in the world, especially in this country. There aren't many American shows that showcase the full intelligence of a woman. If I could write a show that does, I would. The closest I've come is a science fiction novella that potrays one of the main characters as both feminine and smart.
I'm not saying that I'm not a feminine person. I consider myself to be. As I get older and continue to live on my own, I've been more in touch with my intellectual and feminine sides. I still plan on being a gamer that showcases her quirkiness, but still plan on being a good woman, even if I do need to work on self-composure sometimes. However, even if a woman who loves to play videogames is not "feminine" or she's unatractive or anti-social, so what? I don't see any guy making the effort to actually get to know the girl for who she is and her interests. Maybe there is a guy out there who likes her for who she is. It's so sad that we tend to place standards on women and what makes them attractive. We can't blame videogames, or the media for what men look for in women. We should blame their parents for not raising men to accept all types of beauty and looking to the media and society to dictate their standards.
Late Night Post: What I Can Possibly Gain From Ethics Class
I know that this is supposed to be a blog pertaining to videogames, scifi, music and technology, but I've been in school lately and there's not much time to pull up content, unless I immediately come across some material.This evening, I attended two of the four classes I'll be cramming hard to pass this semester, so I can get into a school back home of my choice. I attended my intermediate drawing class and my intro to ethics class and I enjoyed the art class, but I'm definately intimidated by my ethics class.
Intro to Ethics: I know that for humanity to function we must have a set of moral codes such as "don't kill eachother", don't covet other's property and don't try to justify individualistic motives through others (e.g. eugenics, racial clensing, euthanasia, rise of Hitler etc.) However, if I see a promise in a subject such as science, I believe that science is man's salvation and it does not need to follow the laws of ethics. I find the class intimidating, because it requires some participation. Today in class, I was afraid to contribute to the answers in fear of being wrong. I tend to underestimate my capability to grasp the material in philosophy which is why I did all my assignments at the last minute. I also hear that if you're a woman or a person of color, you or your ideas will never be taken seriously. This is why I'm more concerned doing the work, on time, the right way and passing the tests and short papers. This is also why I'm going to try to transfer to a university at home that is more culturally and racially diverse than the whole city of Reno. I haven't been here for more than 2 yrs and already I feel like I'm growing out of this city. I want to stay here until I graduate, but it's going to be more difficult if I am not happy here.
Anyways: I think what I can gain from this class is the ability to argue using Ethos (ethics). As I was in class and the instructor discussed the different types of ethics, partially in the lecture he discussed religion. He used a basic example of theism, not a specific religion. As he was discussing the Devine Command Theory, all I could think about was the Christian Bible and the Islamic Quran. I thought about switching to a different class, particularly a game design class, or the sign language class. I think if I'm not happy in this class I'll take the sign language and pay an extra $400 for it. The class starts next month on Fridays and Saturdays. This class will be helpful in a sense to argue why the god in the bible is unjust, unethical and hypocritical.
Intro to Ethics: I know that for humanity to function we must have a set of moral codes such as "don't kill eachother", don't covet other's property and don't try to justify individualistic motives through others (e.g. eugenics, racial clensing, euthanasia, rise of Hitler etc.) However, if I see a promise in a subject such as science, I believe that science is man's salvation and it does not need to follow the laws of ethics. I find the class intimidating, because it requires some participation. Today in class, I was afraid to contribute to the answers in fear of being wrong. I tend to underestimate my capability to grasp the material in philosophy which is why I did all my assignments at the last minute. I also hear that if you're a woman or a person of color, you or your ideas will never be taken seriously. This is why I'm more concerned doing the work, on time, the right way and passing the tests and short papers. This is also why I'm going to try to transfer to a university at home that is more culturally and racially diverse than the whole city of Reno. I haven't been here for more than 2 yrs and already I feel like I'm growing out of this city. I want to stay here until I graduate, but it's going to be more difficult if I am not happy here.
Anyways: I think what I can gain from this class is the ability to argue using Ethos (ethics). As I was in class and the instructor discussed the different types of ethics, partially in the lecture he discussed religion. He used a basic example of theism, not a specific religion. As he was discussing the Devine Command Theory, all I could think about was the Christian Bible and the Islamic Quran. I thought about switching to a different class, particularly a game design class, or the sign language class. I think if I'm not happy in this class I'll take the sign language and pay an extra $400 for it. The class starts next month on Fridays and Saturdays. This class will be helpful in a sense to argue why the god in the bible is unjust, unethical and hypocritical.
Monday, August 16, 2010
New Sketchbook Drawing I made
This is a sketch that I made today that I plan on placing on canvas as a painting.
Saturday, August 7, 2010
Transhumanism: When Technology, Genetics and Space Exploration Become The Next Step To Human Evolution
When I tell people that I believe that man is a machine, they either look at me crazy, think that I'm crazy or think that I'm wrong and try to refute my beliefs with their crappy religious text or something that someone wrote over like 200 years ago. (This Post Will Be Updated With Photos, Research and More Content)
I have a friend that is a Buddhist and she told me that I'm wrong in a way to believe in Transhumanism (like believing in reincarnation is any better). I think that people should stop looking to the mystical and start looking into the materialistic universe to create a path to the betterment of the human race.
When I say that "man is a machine" it makes more sense to say such because our environments "program" us to be the way we are. Our caregivers, parents or guardians shape our behavior to survive in society and this planet as a whole. I was introduced by my mom to the concept of behaviorism to explain how people can be made to do whatever you tell them for their own good. She also believes in the personality, which does indeed make sense to explain why we are so different from eachother.
What makes man a machine is the fact that we have a beginning, middle and end to our existence. We have different neurological impulses and chemical bonds that we generalize and call a "soul". The concept of a soul has not been accurately explained in religion and there is no existence of it. Through transhumanist steps such as the development of nanotechnology, research in life extension and advancements in genetics and space, humanity can reach greaters heights than it currently does. It would be really interesting if all of humanity can interface with technology better than we currently do. I've been questioned about the ethics of genetic enhancement and nanotechology as means to evolve faster than we currently do. I was asked how would it benefit the workforce. I couldn't give a clear answer at the time, but now I can. I believe that with genetic enhancement, soldiers for example can be faster and stronger. If gene enhancements and nanotechnology were advanced enough, then they would heal faster. Another example is when a worker is hurt doing construction, then instead of long trips to the hospital and a loss of a job and pension, the worker can be healed with "nano-therapy" or "gene-splicing". That worker would eventually return to doing his or her 's job.
The idea of taking humanity into the next step in evolution seems absurd to the average person, even in today's world. However, I guarantee that as I'm speaking, there is a scientist in the labs doing research on nanotechnology and genetic enhancement.
I have a friend that is a Buddhist and she told me that I'm wrong in a way to believe in Transhumanism (like believing in reincarnation is any better). I think that people should stop looking to the mystical and start looking into the materialistic universe to create a path to the betterment of the human race.
When I say that "man is a machine" it makes more sense to say such because our environments "program" us to be the way we are. Our caregivers, parents or guardians shape our behavior to survive in society and this planet as a whole. I was introduced by my mom to the concept of behaviorism to explain how people can be made to do whatever you tell them for their own good. She also believes in the personality, which does indeed make sense to explain why we are so different from eachother.
What makes man a machine is the fact that we have a beginning, middle and end to our existence. We have different neurological impulses and chemical bonds that we generalize and call a "soul". The concept of a soul has not been accurately explained in religion and there is no existence of it. Through transhumanist steps such as the development of nanotechnology, research in life extension and advancements in genetics and space, humanity can reach greaters heights than it currently does. It would be really interesting if all of humanity can interface with technology better than we currently do. I've been questioned about the ethics of genetic enhancement and nanotechology as means to evolve faster than we currently do. I was asked how would it benefit the workforce. I couldn't give a clear answer at the time, but now I can. I believe that with genetic enhancement, soldiers for example can be faster and stronger. If gene enhancements and nanotechnology were advanced enough, then they would heal faster. Another example is when a worker is hurt doing construction, then instead of long trips to the hospital and a loss of a job and pension, the worker can be healed with "nano-therapy" or "gene-splicing". That worker would eventually return to doing his or her 's job.
The idea of taking humanity into the next step in evolution seems absurd to the average person, even in today's world. However, I guarantee that as I'm speaking, there is a scientist in the labs doing research on nanotechnology and genetic enhancement.
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