Who Do They Think I Am?

Sometimes in life you don't realize something until you put two and two together pretty much a year later. You don't hang out with a group of people, but at the same time, you don't understand why, until reinforcements hit you. Well, that has happend to me. Yesterday, to be exact. I told myself I would never date a man from here. I gave simple reasons such as "the men are not cultured", or my favorite "too many of them are missing too many teeth". Yesterday was a reinforcement of why I would not date any man who has any affinity to this city or the school here. A guy approached me while I was on my way to the store. The friend lived here, but he didn't. I thought he wanted to get to know me. I was wrong, because any guy that is tatted up as him does not deserve a shot with me. I find too many tattoos to be dirty and disgusting. The same can be said about having too many piercings. He was a hot Latino guy. He looked good. I'm usually into dark hair and pale skin, but a brown guy is still hot. So this guy followed me and I told him my age he told me his. He said he was twenty. It gave me a pause. I told him I dated a guy that was 21 and he seemed mature for his age, but he showed his age. I remembered an advice column I read about women who are twenty five hooking up with guys who are 18, 19 at most 20. The columnist felt the woman was stradling an ethical line with these young men. I don't want to be labeled a cougar or a puma. I like my men to be in their mid to late 20's.

His age didn't bother me as much as what he wanted. He had the gall to ask him I wanted to do drugs with him and his friend and hook up for sex. I told him "I'm not that kind of girl". Meaning "I don't do drugs or hook up with random strangers". It was then when I realized that I should not pity the men here.I don't anymore. They don't know how to approach a women and they get mad when no woman wants to date them. The men in this country are all like that. They are afraid that they have to work harder to obtain a woman. Women work really hard all the time to impress a potential date. It would not hurt if a man stops being a douchbag for one night to impress the woman of his choice. I know of men who are nice to only women they are dating. They are very mean toward other women. I remember my ex told me about a co worker his mother worked with a while ago. He was Russian and he saw a gender war in this country between men and women. He said this man said that American women do not know how to appreciate a man. My rebuttal to that is: why should any woman appreciate a man who belittles her, insults her intelligence, calls her names and cuts her off while she's speaking? How can I or any other woman in this country appreciate a man who does not know how to treat women?

When I lived on campus in the halls, I noticed this. Men want women who had way less sex partners than them, and yet they seem to sleep with every woman that moves. They were socially akward, unfit they had eachother to hang out with and called people who were not a part of them socially akward. No woman wanted to date them. They would never say why, but thinking about it now, I understand. Partially, I can blame other women for choosing these types of men. I don't think that I would have a problem dating in a more diverse city such as New York or the heart of LA. I believe that we as a society needs to cope with the new type of woman. Most women now do not want to get married at 20 and start a family before 25. The ones I know want to to party, and then you have my sister who has a man and a child and she still likes to hang out. Some women want their cakes and eat them too. Some women want to enjoy as many men as possible and not get married. I'm one of those. I rather be married to my passions in art than to spend the rest of my life with a man who holds double-standard views. I inspire to enjoy as many men as possible and reap the carnage when I'm fifty.

I don't want to alienate any men who read my blogs. Maybe they can address these concerns. I don't think that all men are bad. I think that the ones who expect too much from women and have lower standards for themselves are the ones to watch out for. If I could do last year over again, interms of living on campus and interacting with others, I'd lie and say I'm engaged even when I'm really singled.